First Single Holidays Suck Ass

OK, so you’re newly single–or newly-ish–the holidays are going to suck ass and you WILL be utterly miserable. Sorry, but it’s the truth. There’s no avoiding it and no go-to remedy. You’re just going to have to suffer through them and manage the best you can.

I will offer some of my personal advice (as someone very experienced with this):

First thing’s first–don’t think you’re silly, crazy, irrational, etc. because you’re feeling utterly depressed and lonely during the first round of holidays after a breakup. It is NORMAL and most humans experience similiar feelings when they are suffering through heartbreak and loneliness during the holidays. It doesn’t even have to be “big” holidays–it can be personal landmarks in time, Veteran’s Day, Valentines Day, or just some random day with sentimental significance. Really, YOU ARE JUST EXPERIENCING BEING HUMAN.

My personal situation was that my breakup happened months before Christmas. Even though I had time to mentally prepare myself for the up-coming holidays, NOTHING WORKED. There’s just no way to navigate through them without reminiscing, ruminating, pining, etc. . I often found myself standing there, with a blank look on my face, day-dream-remembering the past holiday (of the current one). I would have to, literally, shake my head as if to shake the memories out to stop thinking about them. I must have looked totally nuts! But, when it comes to self-preservation during these days, you do what you have to do! And, that’s my advice to you! Do what ever it takes–WITHOUT harming yourself or partaking in self-destructive behavior. If you feel like crying–cry! If you feel like screaming–scream!

One side note: I found it painfully difficult NOT to contact my ex during this time (the first round of holidays). I was extremely impulsive and completely ruled by emotion. You’re gonna’ do what you’re gonna do–but TRY NOT TO contact your ex. . Trust me, it will only make you feel ten-thousand times worse! The reality is that if you’re ex cared and/or wanted to contact you, he/she would! If you do contact them, realize that you’re either not going to get a response OR the response you get will NOT be the one you want/hope for. The ladder can be devastating and only add to you’re already insufferable pain.

Here are a few links about the subject for further reading. Hang in there, you can do it!

Getting Through the Holidays After a Break-Up
Holiday time can be brutal when you’re newly single, but you can do it!

How To Get Through The Holidays After A Breakup: Let’s be honest, facing the holidays without your sweetheart is probably one of the hardest things to do.

To be continued…