If you do choose to participate in online/app dating, I have some personal advice for you. Some of it is advice that you will find on websites about dating and some of it is from my own experience.
- First and foremost, Be CAUTIOUS, CAREFUL, and SAFE!! Don’t be too trusting or naive. Go into it with the awareness that there are dangerous and creepy people out there who are looking for “you” or just waiting for the opportunity to harm or fuck with you in some way. Be aware that men often LIE to and MANIPULATE women online. Not always, but often. Remember that you have no way of knowing if the person you are interacting with is “real”. They may be someone else entirely different from who they are portraying themselves to be. They may not even be the person in their photos (I have a fail-safe test for that noted at the end of this post).
- Listen to your instincts!! If your gut is telling you that something’s off, unsafe, or that the person you’re interacting with is creepy in some way, listen!! Humans have instincts for a reason! We are largely hardwired with instincts to alert us to potential predators and danger in our environments (among other reasons). So, please, please, please listen to them!
- Be aware that the chances of you finding “love” or a genuine connection are slim! You are a million times more likely to find someone to hook-up with or talk dirty with than you are to meet someone who actually wants to form a connection or meet in person. A great number of men online never intend to actually meet in person—they’re just entertaining themselves or getting-off on interacting with women on line.
- NEVER tell someone online your last name, address, where you work, etc. until you KNOW them. And, I don’t mean “know” them online—I mean know them in person, in the flesh—and are 1000% certain they are who they say they are, and, are sane and safe!
- Do not use your phone number to communicate with new people you meet! If you can, download an anonymous messaging app, like Kik or something similar. To be continued…
My fail-safe identity test: I always do this to test a guy’s identity once I’m messaging him (using an anonymous messaging app). Ask him to send you a spontaneous photo of himself holding a random object, like a spatula or shoe or something. If he refuses to oblige or confirm his identity, DROP HIM like a hot potato immediately!! There should be NO REASON for him to say no if he really is who he says he is. This is IMPERATIVE!!